Love Languages
Gary Chapman wrote a book called “The Five Love Languages,” which discusses the idea that we all give and receive love differently. We need to understand our primary love languages to foster positive and thriving relationships. I was initially introduced to the 5 Love Languages in the context of providing couples therapy at a previous job. However, understanding the differences in how we all express and receive love is applicable across all relationships. I believe that it is crucial for us to understand our preferred language to recognize and know when we are not being fulfilled and ask for what we need.
The five types of love languages that Chapman has identified are Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Gift Giving and Words of Affirmation. You can take a quick quiz on Gary Chapman’s website that will identify your top Love Language(s) and order your preferences. Many people express worry to me about needing to “match” with their significant other, but this is not important! What matters about this is that you and the other person in the relationship understand the other’s needs and so that you can both provide love in a manner that is most easily understood and recognized by the other person.
For me, Quality Time is my number one Love Language. This didn’t surprise me, but I have still found it beneficial to reflect on what makes me feel loved and connected with others. I have to balance this with my husband’s natural inclination of introversion, but because we’ve been able to talk about what makes both of us feel loved and cared for, we can fit both preferences into our life together.
Ultimately, understanding your preferred Love Language(s) is something you can explore independently or with others. Use this knowledge to be more deliberate in asking for your needs to be met in relationships, providing yourself with self-love, and knowing what matters most to the people in your life.
Five Love Languages Quizzes: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/5-love-languages/
October 17, 2020