What My Body Does

Shortly after my post about doing a boudoir shoot and how incredible I felt, I was challenged on my body image and acceptance. 

Long story short, I had a small cyst on my abdomen that became irritated and then infected. First challenge: I HATED this swollen, ugly bump smack in the middle of my body. It was physically uncomfortable but also mentally uncomfortable. Even around my home, it changed how I dressed and made me self-conscious, even though it was just me and my husband. 

Next, an incision to help the cyst heal and an antibiotic to fight the infection. Challenge two: self-consciousness with how this looked and having people examine and prod at this thing, which made me so uncomfortable. 

Finally, three days after finishing my antibiotic, I woke up to full body hives, an allergic reaction to the antibiotic. This rash progressively worsened over a few days before the prescription antihistamine and steroids finally began to have an impact, and the hives became less angry. This was happening in the springtime; the weather was lovely, and I needed to wear clothes that covered the rash. If I am honest, this was partly because I wanted to protect what felt like sensitive skin from the sun but also because I wanted to protect my ego. I also was very aware of how my angry, red hives had the potential to make others uncomfortable. It’s now been nearly a month, and I still have some lingering residue of the hives across my legs, and I am still choosing clothes that make me feel most emotionally comfortable and keep the sun away. 

All of this is to say that it’s been a tough time for accepting and loving my body. As I reflected on this past month, I realized the importance of being able to focus on what my body does for me, especially in times when I am struggling with the way it looks. Research shows that a focus on body functionality improves our body image by way of increased appreciation for our bodies and decreased appearance dissatisfaction. 

I am incredibly lucky to have a healthy body. It gets me everywhere I need to go, has grown stronger as I’ve committed to fitness, takes me on walks with my family, and hugs those I love. My body is incredible in the ways that it allows me to enjoy so much of life.

This coming week, I am going to challenge myself to find three things each day that I was able to do with my body, for which I am grateful. I’ll record them for myself and share them on Instagram to encourage the practice.