Educated
I re-read “Educated” by Tara Westover in preparation for my book club, taking my time to try and pay attention to more detail. Educated is a memoir of Westover’s life, beginning in the mountains of Idaho with her family and continuing as she steps into the world of post-secondary education and her journey into independent adulthood.
In reading various reviews of the book, there seems to be a split between readers who found Westover’s book to be enthralling, shocking and inspiring and others who were more skeptical. As for myself, I am not sure it matters. In Westover’s words, “We are all of us more complicated than the roles we are assigned in the stories other people tell.” I think this speaks to the experience of reading a memoir; all of us live our lives and develop memories and perceptions of events that are only our own. I take Westover’s memoir at face value, understanding it to be her personal experience and appreciating the opportunity to be brought into her narrative.
So a few stand out thoughts for me...
While initially, the focus is on Westover’s Dad, his controlling behaviours seemingly driven by religious beliefs, a fear of the government and potential mental illness, I found the scenes with her brother Shawn to be much more troubling and difficult to read. His behaviours felt more malicious, purposively abusive and manipulating. His abusive actions and personality were further highlighted in his romantic relationships, heartbreaking descriptions of gaslighting and demeaning. Reading these sections of Westover’s book, I experienced intense feelings of sadness and desperation in response to her relationship with her brother. Westover wrote, “it’s strange how you give the people you love so much power over you, I had written in my journal. But Shawn has more power over me than I could have possibly imagined. He has defined me to myself, and there’s no greater power than that.” This statement stood out to me as a clear and reflective response to her relationship with her brother. It was a haunting recognition that her perception of herself and how she lived her life and engaged with others had been so skewed by abuse and manipulation of someone she loved deeply and unconditionally.
I appreciated Westover’s description of her development as an individual. While it was a much more pronounced learning curve and evolution than most, she highlights a very challenging and confusing time for young adults. Beginning to move through the world as a newly independent individual, making decisions and learning about oneself is a tumultuous experience for most, let alone Westover’s deficit of knowledge and experience that amplified this trying time for her.
In Chapter 22, Westover is reflecting on her journaling and her habit of revising her memories. She writes, “from somewhere inside that brittle shell - in that girl made vacant by the fiction of invincibility - there was a spark left.” This statement stood out to me as a compelling description of resilience and the ability to survive and eventually thrive, not only despite their experience but perhaps in retaliation to it.
I’ll finish by saying that I thoroughly enjoyed reading “Educated” perhaps more the second time around. Sometimes, I get excited about a book, and in my enthusiasm for the story, I furiously turn page after page to unfold the story as quickly as possible. Re-reading this book with the intention of being more detail-oriented, I allowed myself to appreciate the beautiful writing and nuanced reflection presented by Westover. I am motivated to return to other books that I have enjoyed with the same finessed intention, fully experiencing the author’s narrative in a more present and appreciative manner.
July 26, 2020