Quiet Self Care
Recently, while binging on Season 5 of Queer Eye on Netflix, I felt inspired by Jonathan Van Ness to bring some acts of self-care into my routine. As I reflected on this more, I began to see it as an opportunity to bring some quiet into my life.
I am someone that does not tolerate sitting with my thoughts very well. I don’t tend to be overly anxious or a worrier, but my brain can be very busy. Whenever I am home alone or doing a mundane task, I often have television, a podcast, or an audiobook on in the background. This habit isn’t necessarily bad, but I believe it would be beneficial for me to have some more quiet time.
My thought is that if I incorporate some small self-care routines, maybe once a week, I could use it as a pocket of time to practice some mindfulness. When we think about meditation and mindfulness, we often think that this means that you have to empty your mind of any thoughts, but this isn’t the case. In my therapy practice, I talk to people about mindfulness more as an awareness of your thoughts and emotions. Mindfulness is about being in the present moment, without judgement or attachment to that moment.
I attach mindfulness, to the ACT concept of Fusion and Defusion. When we are in a state of Fusion, we are more likely to see thoughts as facts, as threatening and get more attached to thoughts and feelings. When we are able to Defuse from thoughts, we can recognize that they may or may not be true, are not a threat and can be allowed to come and go. There are many techniques for Defusion; however, one of my favourites is visualizing thoughts as coming and going at their own pace. Your thoughts may be cars driving by, passing on a conveyor belt, leaves on a stream or ocean waves. Typically, I am recommending this as a way of separating oneself from unhelpful thinking patterns that are causing distress. In the context of how I would like to use this, it would be more of a way not to have to be DOING while engaging in self-care. To allow my thoughts to come and go, while I quietly allow myself to simply be.
I’ve started myself off with buying a new face mask that will require me to lie still for about fifteen minutes. I don’t think I will start with complete silence (which I am not sure is truly necessary,) but I will play some ambient music or ocean sounds (my favourite.) I know that I will have to schedule this into my week to make it start happening regularly.
We live in such a busy, hectic world that can be hard to disengage. I want to challenge myself to disconnect, be silent, and so something kind for myself.
June 22, 2020